Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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