I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
