i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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