and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
