well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
