Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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