I just made out with a guy for $7.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
