thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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