she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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