I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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