Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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