At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I need to calm my uterus...
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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