why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
