It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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