Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
