Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Randomize
