Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Maybe he injected his testicle?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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