Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
So many bounce houses so little time
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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