is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
