dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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