yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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