dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
