? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i will never coherently bang her
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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