Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
