oh god the rape fog is back!
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
