smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
