We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
