Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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