They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
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