if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Me too!
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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