Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
