the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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