Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
