The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
