I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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