so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
