So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
