help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
