Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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