so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
