went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
