Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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