Did you just see the Batmobile???
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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