am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Randomize
