i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Randomize
