I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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