so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
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