i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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