check it out our google latitudes are spooning
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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