Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
