Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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