Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
