when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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