it's not cheating when I paid for it
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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